Joyful is companied with the painful, happiness is belonged to faithless.

The unpredictable anxiety occurs in my mind for quite long period. I cannot wipe it whether I attempt to or not. I feel the alienation, yet I can only do nothing but wait it to pass away. In recent time, this sort of condition is more obvious when I hanged out with my friends. And the joyful is companied with the painful, happiness is belonged to faithless.

Although I can pretend that I do not care or nothing happen, but the emotion that I try to hide harder which reveals the contrast to be more clear. Every single day I am thinking about the appropriate position of my ego, but to brief who I am that is not as easy as a pie. Especially in the present of my living time, for my hundred years of contemporary of mine.

The isolation. The biggest possession of my own. The most valuable experience that I can go through to people. Today, I recognized I am a worm in the sealed pupa when I woke up in the morning, and the opening date is discouraged unknown day, or even the complete darkness night. The only possible method that I can break the hole which may be as freedom as my imagination whether I am going to become the moth or the butterfly.

I watched the movie "control" in the cinema this noon again. In addition, I can still sense the determination of suicide in the gloomy scene. The dismal is behind in Ian Curtis' voice, and each piece of lyrics shows the depress. Perhaps Ian just sang before our generation to announce the dour mood of nowadays, and our confusion is our illusion indeed.