I feel lonely. And the worst part is I communicate with myself via foreign language. Unfamiliar. Suddenly, I have no postion to look at this world. Perhaps I've never understood this world. I'm in the between for a long while, western and eastern, warm and cold, tender and cruel, childlish and mellow, autistic and sociable; with happiness and sadness.Confuse. The verb. Nevertheless I can react is immediately moving my heart, with my spirit, by my soul. Body is useless, tongue is poorness. I wish I could be brilliant in the beginning, but I present my personality which can only be able to interpret by myself, yet I don't even appreciate myself. "Appreciate", what an ambiguous word.
I miss mom and dad. Especially my father; but the strangeness is I didn't even talk to my dad very often. At home, we talked just few words like " morning; have you had dinner?" Something like that. Such as me and my temporary Chinese landlord. Nothing but nod. However, I really desire to talk to my dad. I don't know, unreasonable.
Maybe at the bone in the blood I'm his son and he is my pa. Gene, DNA, descent; whatever we called, it's distiny, and next time I phone home I'll tell him "don't give the phone to mom, I want to talk to you for a long time, and we won't say so long."
*Photo taken at unknown hotel, Brussell.*
