開懷痛楚在霎那都是最大感應, 但每每總是瞬間閃動. 也許解放壓抑才是釋出記憶的法則; 卻苦笑成了人格特質的標的. 有關好壞, 只能去留待他人來評斷了.
---
I cannot rid of my super great ability in forgetting things, and it is more intensive lately. Although somehow sometimes I'm good to surprise people when I telling something very details, but those fragmental pictures certainly can't help people pick up what I'm talking. Am my memory going blank gradually after 35 years old? Perhaps in that time I have to tell people: "Let's restart again how about that...?" Just like the dialogue in the film "Happy Together". But who is with "me" to be "us"? To roam through in the life for a long while, I feel my memory is like the coming path, when I would like to recall it and to view my surroundings that is an unknown vast of water in the deep blue sea; and "belonging" is a fuzzy term that can't be defined in the far away territory.
Joys and pains are the greatest feelings at those instants, but only, it shows in immediacy. Maybe to release the self-pressure that is the way to free my memory, yet the bitter smile is the representation of my personality. About the positive or negative impression to others, that can only be able to leave for people to judge me.
---
Walking the cow - Daniel Johnston
Try to remember
But my feelings can't know for sure
Tried to reach out
But it's gone
Lucky stars in your eyes
I am walking the cow
I really don't know how I came here
I really don't know why I'm staying here
Oh oh oh...
I am walking the cow
Tried to point my finger
But the wind was blowing me around
In circles
Circles
Lucky stars in your eyes
I am walking the cow
I really don't know what I have to hear
I really don't know what I have to care
Oh oh oh...
I am walking the cow
