It's been really long time not writing the diary; the so called, penning, words. But can I be able to describe a night like tonight properly by those words? Writing down word by word. Listening the non-stop tracks, press the "print" button repetitively, and the printer is singing its distinctive melody; the stylus pen is making the scratches when I stroking, when I moving around the notebook the sounds is like screaming, my old G4 is panting and buzzing around my surroundings.
It's all shallow and stereotyped thoughts in my mind, like this room, maintains the unchanging chaos, although I can move away these trash to another room, but where shall I move away those ridiculous thoughts?
Sometimes I saw the lamp was breathing under the lampshade, showing dark and dim, lighting bright and dignity. I recognized perhaps it also sensed something; a night like tonight, the hesitation in writing is even more intensive than typing the letters on the keyboard, and the paper looks feel disturbed by my appearence, which indicates: "please unleash your emotions by those pixels and dots and leave me alone!".
"Save Files Anytime!" The note sticked on the corner of the screen. However, sometimes somehow there is still something that you cannot be able to remember, even you stamped on numerous notes. Right now, the file is in progress, I'm waiting, the computer is suddenly shut down, I restart it, to be fasinated in the quiet instant and redesign my work; while I stop penning I have to close the cap. Until the next moment, which means the dawn, the breakfast shop will open again, the light through the frosted glasses is not merely from the flash, and I don't need to stay in a night like tonight.
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很久沒有寫日記。所謂的；書寫，文字。可是這樣的晚上能夠適當的講的出來嗎？一筆一劃著。聽著不停音軌的CD，按下重複的print鍵，印表機背後和著。 代用針筆的刷刷聲，移動筆記本的摩擦嘶響；電腦的喘息，嗡嗡叫著。
腦袋裝的都是些陳腐的東西。就像這房間一樣，持續不變的凌亂。不同的只是這挪到那，那挪到哪？
有時候看到光在燈罩下呼吸，一滅一暗，一明一亮。我想那些瞬間它也是感覺到什麼了吧。這樣的晚上。這種寫字遲疑比起敲鍵盤還要緩慢，連紙都不想理人的流 露。好像想單叫人靠著肉眼看不到的螢幕光點宣洩就夠。
“隨時存檔“大大的字貼在螢幕邊角。有時有些卻是再多的便貼也記不住。跑檔案，等待，當機，重開，停頓作稿。停筆時要記得把筆蓋關上。等到早晨，也就是呆 會，豆漿店就開了，那時毛玻璃透的不只是對戶的光；我也不用停留在這樣的晚上。
*translation from my article, photograph by M/M Paris.
