我能想到地。 Something I can be able to think of.

差勁尷尬的記憶能力近來日趨嚴重地與我為伍不肯離棄; 雖說時不時對於一些細節敏感處會讓人詫異的刻印在腦裡, 不過瑣碎拼湊的畫面教人不知如何拾起. 會不會過了35歲就逐漸空白呢? 也許那時得像何寶榮說的: "不如我們重新來過..."; 可誰來與"我"完成為"們"? 人生海洋漂蕩久了, 回憶就像來時路, 當想到時卻舉目皆是汪洋一片不知今池是何處; 而"歸屬"還在遙遠莫名地方無法定義.


開懷痛楚在霎那都是最大感應, 但每每總是瞬間閃動. 也許解放壓抑才是釋出記憶的法則; 卻苦笑成了人格特質的標的. 有關好壞, 只能去留待他人來評斷了.


---
I cannot rid of my super great ability in forgetting things, and it is more intensive lately. Although somehow sometimes I'm good to surprise people when I telling something very details, but those fragmental pictures certainly can't help people pick up what I'm talking. Am my memory going blank gradually after 35 years old? Perhaps in that time I have to tell people: "Let's restart again how about that...?" Just like the dialogue in the film "Happy Together". But who is with "me" to be "us"? To roam through in the life for a long while, I feel my memory is like the coming path, when I would like to recall it and to view my surroundings that is an unknown vast of water in the deep blue sea; and "belonging" is a fuzzy term that can't be defined in the far away territory.


Joys and pains are the greatest feelings at those instants, but only, it shows in immediacy. Maybe to release the self-pressure that is the way to free my memory, yet the bitter smile is the representation of my personality. About the positive or negative impression to others, that can only be able to leave for people to judge me.
---


Walking the cow - Daniel Johnston


Try to remember
But my feelings can't know for sure
Tried to reach out
But it's gone


Lucky stars in your eyes
I am walking the cow


I really don't know how I came here
I really don't know why I'm staying here
Oh oh oh...
I am walking the cow


Tried to point my finger
But the wind was blowing me around
In circles
Circles


Lucky stars in your eyes
I am walking the cow


I really don't know what I have to hear
I really don't know what I have to care
Oh oh oh...
I am walking the cow